pernah ngerasain ga, tiba2 dada ini sesakk tiap suatu topik muncul dalam obrolan?
that’s what i felt recently…
kyaknya adaaaaa aja caranya ngehubungin topik apapun yang lagi ongoing ke that particular topic (TPT) . dan setiap hal itu terjadi… rsanya sesakk banget..
u know… for me, TPT is a dream. a beautiful one. i wanna feel that way even now. at first, everyone thinks it’s a dream. then it turns to be a national joke, when evryone can tease each other and joke about it leisurely. but after i reached more stages in my life, it turns to be sort of an obligation, when everyone thinks i HAVE TO do it!
well, it’s not that i DON’T WANT to do it, in fact i am really LOOKING FORWARD to it. but, when everyone thinks that TPT is an obligation, it seems that i’m not a good daughter when i can’t achieve that yet… I really didn’t want it to be a burden for me…
don’t u know?
I have dreamed about my children.
how i would make them my “friend”, how i would teach them everything i know about life, how i would line up their breakfast and milk in the morning, what story would i read them bfore they sleep, how they look angelic when they are sleeping…
i have dreamed about my husband…
how i mention him in my prayers (not even knowing WHO exactly he is 
), how i would wake him up gently to be my QL imam, how i would pack him lanch and slip an i luv u note in it, how he is being the first person i run to when i need a shoulder to cry on, how we woud grow old together, how we would strengthen each other when one of us feels weak…
i, too, have dreamed of having a house that everyone would feel happybeing there… even when we’re mad, we can reslove it and be more happy as ever…
there? see? even I have dreamed what kind of family i wanna have. so please,,, stop pestering me into rushing it, making it as an obligation. just let me pursue my dream, not fulfilling my obligation..
*for my other half… please come and find me….
